Blog

Art/Life/Humor

For audio files on phone please scroll down

Crystal Despain

Feb 12, 2022
6 min

Attention > Intention

I tried to think of a catchy title, something that would make you more inclined to read this. Something like, "You can't see the stars if...

Crystal Despain

Jun 1, 2021
2 min

Oh Mama!

Or Papa. Or Grandparents or Guardian. Whoever is trying to navigate the intersection of art and children. It's legit hard. Go ahead and...

Crystal Despain

May 5, 2021
2 min

Fan Girl

(Since writing this post Richard Schmidt has passed away. The outpour of love and gratitude displayed in the wake of his death has been...

Crystal Despain

Apr 9, 2021
2 min

If it's Perfect it's Close Enough

Casey Childs is one of my favorite teachers (and an amazing painter). I've learned a lot from him... and his Uncle. Which Uncle? Don't...

Crystal Despain

Oct 19, 2020
2 min

Ashes, Ashes, We Get Back Up

Anyone else feel like a beach? Not going to the beach- although that does sound great. Like an actual beach. Like sand at the edge of the...

Crystal Despain

Sep 22, 2020
3 min

What the Hell is Wrong With Us?

Fear. Fear is what is wrong with us. We are so afraid of the wrong ideas, the wrong conclusions, wrong president, wrong color, wrong...

Crystal Despain

Mar 17, 2020
2 min

Precipice

I have a strange relationship to heights. It actually may be standard issue but I see it as strange. I can step backwards off a cliff...

Crystal Despain

Dec 12, 2019
7 min

The Ugly: My Depression Story

I don't really do ugly. As a general rule I do beautiful. Well, my actual person does disheveled most days but art, interior design,...

Crystal Despain

Dec 3, 2019
4 min

Dance like Florencio

So it's been a while right? 5 months or so. I always wonder about what gets me writing and why. What it says about my mental health if I...

Crystal Despain

Jul 22, 2019
2 min

ART WALK: Walking with Winter

(2 self portraits) "Seasons and cycles are a part of life. A part of our DNA, a movement of time. I’m a fair-weather friend to Winter....

Crystal Despain

Jul 16, 2019
3 min

The Junk Drawer

I'll be honest with you. I'm having a very human day. No hormones to blame it on, no hard HARD life stuff. Just the regular hard life...

Crystal Despain

Jun 13, 2019
3 min

MASH, Miracles and Menstrual Cramps

Guys, I'm done. Today, this week. Done. I have been utterly useless for 3 straight days. Did you read my post from last week about doing...

Crystal Despain

Jun 13, 2019
2 min

Thank You Cookie Patch, Be Free

Every January, and a couple other times a year (because I accumulate "stuff" like dog hair on a wool coat) I purge my house of the...

Crystal Despain

Jun 6, 2019
4 min

Avocado Waffle Epiphany

I am sitting here at a waffle house in Utah waiting on the Gods while eating the best and only avocado topped waffle I've ever had....

Crystal Despain

Apr 20, 2019
3 min

A Classy Kind of Day

Woke up and went to Walmart. First of all, I know know its bad comedic form to to go after Walmart and some of its more native natives....

Yes Vanna White, There is a New Blog Post

Crystal Despain

Dec 27, 2018
3 min

Yes Vanna White, There is a New Blog Post

I do a lot of scary things in my day. I used to think it was incompetence, or lack of experience that makes normal activities scary. Then...

Crystal Despain

Nov 16, 2018
3 min

Say Yes To Ritual Human Sacrifice

I got a call today from my kids' school. It went something like the scene from Temple of Doom where Mola Ram (creepy cult priest), pulls...

Crystal Despain

Nov 9, 2018
3 min

I Bought a Blazer for Legitimacy

Excuse: I bought a blazer because it was on crazy sale at Banana... And I have this Art business-ey thing coming up.... and I think they...

Thanks for the stripper name Mom and Dad: How I ended up topless in Morocco

Crystal Despain

Oct 30, 2018
2 min

Thanks for the stripper name Mom and Dad: How I ended up topless in Morocco

I have a stripper name. Not as porn-ish as Chocolate Delight or Twilight Sparkle (Fun fact- those are My Little Pony names- There goes...

Crystal Despain

Oct 29, 2018
1 min

Alphabitch Soup

My dog behaviorist says I have a problem. She's actually my housecleaner but she's one of those ladies with lots of hats, so by way of...

Attention _ Intention

00:00 / 09:30

Oh, Mama!

00:00 / 03:31

Fan Girl

00:00 / 03:04

If its Perfect its Close Enough

00:00 / 02:58

Ashes, Ashes

00:00 / 02:56

What the Hell is Wrong with Us_

00:00 / 03:16

Precipice

00:00 / 03:08

The Ugly

00:00 / 12:01

Dance Like Florencio

00:00 / 04:59

Walking with Winter.._2

00:00 / 03:13

junkdrawer

00:00 / 04:22

Be Free Cookie Patch

00:00 / 03:06

Mash Miracles and Menstrual Cramps

00:00 / 04:00

Avocado Waffle Epiphany

00:00 / 05:39

A Classy Kind of Day

00:00 / 05:09

Yes Vanna White

00:00 / 04:21

Say Yes to Ritual Human Sacrifice

00:00 / 03:48

I bought a Blazer for Legitamacy

00:00 / 03:46

Thanks for the Stripper Name Mom and Dad

00:00 / 03:13

The Universe Puked and I Listened

00:00 / 01:21

Alphabitch Soup

00:00 / 01:16

BLOG

Art/Life/Humor

Monthly-ish Newsletter! Be the first to hear the news and see the art!

Contact us